Live To Tell
by Twilight's-Mystery
Summary: It's a 7th year fic, yes I know "oh no! another one run" it's using Madonna's "Live to tell" please RR please please please!


Live to Tell

By: Kathy M Kidman

Disclaimer: HP=JKR not me

AN: None really...finished it at 10:00 exactally at 11/19/01  it's wierd.. Dark perhaps but wierd..and it's harry's 7th year.  

Subvertio nocens pro unquam means literally in latin Destroy the evil for ever. 

  
hope you enjoy.

~*~

This had to be death, didn't it? I'd finally get to see my parents again. The spell had been cast, I'd been hit, he'd been hit.  He dissapeared, but was he really defeated?  Or was it my mind playing tricks on me now that I was dying?

"subvertio nocens pro unquam" mixed with and apparently over powered "Avada Kedavera!".. 

As I lay on the cold, damp ground of the grave yard, not that of his fathers, but that of my mother and fathers, the scene replays itself before me. 

_"You wretched boy!  I will once and for all be rid of you, take a good look at your parents grave stones Potter, for they'll be the last thing in the living world you'll ever see!"_

_and I did, I looked at them for the first time in my life. _

**_Lilian Marie Potter_**

****

**_1961-1981_**

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**_Mother of the Savior Child_**

****

_and next to hers..._

**_James "Prongs" Potter_**

**_  
1961-1981_**

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**_Father of the Savior Child_**

****

_they placed so much faith in me, just because I'd managed the downfall of the most powerful dark wizard there ever was, just because my parents gave their lives for a child who was supposedly the "Savior Child" of the wizarding world. _

_I looked back at Voldemort, his red blood filled eyes now slits as he glared at me.  
  
"You see how much they put in you Harry? You see what was written on your parents tombstones? The Savior" he scoffed. "Savior indeed, you have mearly bought yourself 16 years of life,  now I'll finally be rid of you--don't give me that look, you know as well as I just how much you wish to see your parents again."  
  
"I'll never let you win Voldemort, I can defeat you-no, I will defeat you, for my parents, for my friends, and for the wizarding world. " I can remember myself saying that, where exactally did that faith go?_

_I remember faintly a feeling of peacefulness surrounding me as I closed my eyes and let the warmth rush through my body.  I felt weightless...felt, truely strong.  The faith and determination streaming through my body was that of Godric Gryffindor himself.  I was the last remaining descendent of him, and the power surging was his reminents, urging me to defeat the dark lord once and for all.  _

_"You'll never defeat me Potter, face it, you can barely live now..all your fake pride and determination, means nothing.." he said raising his hands, wand destroyed. _

_I rose my hand, no need for a wand, the spell I was about to cast was one created by Merlin himself, one that was used to be cast by the heart of the wizard or witch with the ability to handle it.._

_"Prepare to die Potter, once and for all...Avada Kedavera!!" the green light rushed towards me in slow motion, my eyes widened slightly._

_'For you mother and father, and you Cedric, to all those slain by the wand of Lord Voldemort, and those who fell in my place, for those of you protecting me, and those who live to defend me I will avenge you..'  "subvertio nocens pro unquam" I murmured, and watched as a bright golden light surrounded me and a burst of pure white light rushed towards Voldemort, and our spells collided, and an explosion was caused, I was hit squarly in the chest by part of his attack, while mine over powered his and he dissapeared with a scream that would shatter glass had there been any around.  _

_Falling to the ground I felt my grip on the world slipping from me in silence, at my parents graves'_

Ironic.  I was born to save the world, but i was also born to for it? Yes that seems fitting, so I closed my eyes, just to rest atleast..

*******************

I have a tale to tell  
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well  
I was not ready for the fall  
Too blind to see the writing on the wall

*******************

  
_Oh but Harry, you are not meant to die...not yet anyways..do not worry.'                             _

there was that blasted voice..but it was right, I couldn't die now.  I had to get back to my friends..or atleast back to civilization, but could I? after this, what would they think, I left them all alone back in the forest, I told them I needed none of them, that they would only be in the way.. oh I was so harsh towards them.  The pain I saw in Hermiones eyes at my words shatters my heart now as I think about it.  But she doesn't know, she doesn't understand that my whole life has been abuse, nightmares, pain and death.. special indeed.  If this is special I'd rather prefer normalcy, if even a muggle.  

But I've learned, learned that faith can get you somewhere, can get you anywhere. I believed in my friends and my will to protect them, it was my last chance to defeat him and I did.  But how could I--go back.  After this they'd only shun me..Could I possibly tell them about my past? about the dark secrets and anything? sure they knew about my parents, but did they know truely about them, about how I was abused and how the nightmares tore me down, could I possibly tell?

  
Of course I could, if I live till then, no matter what the little voice said, Avada Kedavera missed me once, but now I was at deaths bed, IN a death bed no less, watching as everything turned from dark to while..then clear..maybe it was for the best, my dying.  Perhaps the world would be rid of everything evil, could move on finally.

But now I'm not sure, not sure if I want to die, if I want to see my parents just yet.  "Mum, dad I love you, you know, but not just yet..i don't think I'm ready to come join you yet. I've told so many lies to everybody who asked how I was, and if I was going to be ok, everything, I just--don't know what to do.."

********************

A man can tell a thousand lies  
I've learned my lesson well  
Hope I live to tell  
The secret I have learned, 'till then  
It will burn inside of me

********************

Struggling to my feet I gropped around for my glasses and found them, I looked once more at my parents grave and stumbled away.  

_'My son, you have the power..you will be fine..'_

_'Yes you will Harry, just believe in yourself, and your friends, just believe...we'll always be with you in heart, and in soul..'_

My throat constricted as I looked back at their graves as a soft glow surrounded them and I closed my eyes and soon was transported back to the dark forbidden forest.  

*********************

I know where beauty lives  
I've seen it once, I know the warm she gives  
The light that you could never see  
It shines inside, you can't take that from me

*********************

I kept my stance strong as I walked through the forest silently--looking here and there, each step I take, it's a step towards freedom, towards true redemption.  I could finally be happy..perhaps.

The clearing, I can see the clearing, the edge of the forest grows near and I can see the soft glow of Hogwarts castle in front of me, snow fluttering like shards of rainbow over my head, but I was not cold, no not cold at all.  So close to death had I been, that I still was, that I would never be cold again, if I could just make it to those doors.

*********************

A man can tell a thousand lies  
I've learned my lesson well  
Hope I live to tell  
The secret I have learned, 'till then  
It will burn inside of me

*********************

Stopping suddenly, another surge of intense grief hit me.  I learned the reason he had tried to kill me all those years ago...'"_You are my only rival harry, you--who at only 17 years old has the power that could rival Dumbledores, you, who in your veins runs the blood and power of Godric Gryffindor, you--who has been cast as the "savior child" to the Wizarding Community.  You Harry, are the only thing keeping me from power.."'_

I shook my head, this was something I simply could not keep to myself, one more secret to bear in my heart..one more load to bear, I couldn't do it alone. 

********************

The truth is never far behind  
You kept it hidden well  
If I live to tell  
The secret I knew then  
Will I ever have the chance again

********************

But I had to live long enough to tell the truth, to tell my tale..Stumbling I fall to the ground as another wave of pain hits me.  '_over over..let it be over..'_then  '_no! fight..believe...for your parents'_

So I will, I can. 

Pulling myself back up I see the clouds rolling through, and the snow all around me, such a peaceful sight.  It sets my soul at ease, to know that even in death my parents are with me, that I was not alone, even those dark cold nights I would sit up wondering why I was even still alive, or why i didn't let him kill me.  

Those were the thoughts constantly running through my head.  Sometimes I almost let them over power me at times..

*******************

If I ran away, I'd never have the strength  
To go very far  
How would they hear the beating of my heart  
Will it grow cold  
The secret that I hide, will I grow old  
How will they hear  
When will they learn  
How will they know

*******************

It was close..my new life, my life of pure, true happiness was close, at my fingers reach, if i could just find the--power.  "I can.." I will..

But again what if they don't welcome me back, I see through the window of the great hall, I see them talking and laughing over Christmas Supper, everybody so happy, who was I to ruin it by running back to them with my problems and fears.  One more burden on their backs was all I was.

_'Stop saying that Harry, my son listen to me..I died to protect you, to give you the life you deserve, even if it wasn't with parents.  But you have Albus, and your friends, you are free Harry, you have defeated the greatest Dark wizard ever.  Please child, set yourself free, set yourself from your dark past and make way for your future..it's bright my son, it's very bright..'_

Still my mothers voice echoed in my ears, the warmth again filling my blood.

*******************

I have a tale to tell  
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well  
I was not ready for the fall  
Too blind to see the writing on the wall  
*******************

My one last chance, last chance..

Standing up i feel a new power, the power of will, the will to live, right now I could do it, I push the doors open to the great hall...a deadly silence falls through the house as the hundreds (hundreds? why had they all stayed over christmas?) of voices died down and every head turned towards me, almost making me regret my choice.  But suddenly the sight of my best friends rushing towards me, catching me as I fell to the ground on my knees, suddenly silent tears started down my face, tears i'd hidden for 17 years, tears that would finally make way for a new start...

Dumbledore and McGonagall are among the teachers to rush to my side, but Dumbledore is the only one who comes closer to me, helps me stand, he's always been my guardian angel.  I can see Hagrid behind everybody else a timid expression on his bearded face.  My friends were here, looking now they were helping me, not shunning me! 

"He's gone.."

*******************

The truth is never far behind  
You kept it hidden well  
If I live to tell  
The secret I knew then  
Will I ever have the chance again

*******************

Still silence, murmurs broke through the hall, but still true silence.  Suddenly as if somebody broke a shield there was an explosion of excitement, cheers and loud talking, all about me, how I was alive..how Voldemort was gone.  

But still the only voices I heard were those of my true friends, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, and Hagrid.  Comforting me as i finally allowed myself a moment of, relief.  Crying was the one thing I never did, but I could..and openly I didn't even feel ashamed, because shame was something only part of my old life. 

"It's going to be Ok harry.."  
"Yeah, you'll be ok.."

  
I stayed there for I don't know how long as a party ensued over the great hall.  But as I looked at my friends, surrounding me, I noticed something.  They were listening, as if I'd already said what i was about to say.

"I have a tale to tell.."  

They all nodded.  "We know Harry, we know and want to hear, hear everything.." came Ron.

"I want to cry with you Harry, I love you, you know that..please let me share your grief" came Hermione.

"Yes, let us share your emotions Harry.." added Ginny.

"We all will, we'll help you get through this Harry.." came Dumbledores wise voice.

I'm so glad I didn't run away from my future.. so glad I listened to my mother and father, and to my heart.  '_Thank you for everything'  _was all I could think as I looked around.  

My one first step to healing was made, and now it was up to my friends to help me succeed...and they were going to be there..

*********************

I have a tale to tell  
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well__

If I live to tell  
The secret I knew then  
Will I ever have the chance again

*********************

~*~ 

Done..lol...umm yeah anyways.. The songs called "Live to tell" by Madonna *grins* Flames, reviews..anything..well hopefully less flames__


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